I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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