Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
