he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize