I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
