Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
