FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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