I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
