I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
