toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
