no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
