Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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