Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
