my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
