He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
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I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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