There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
