i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
