sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
