So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
