my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Randomize
