tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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