i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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