waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
