Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
