took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize