apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Dicks are not precious.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
This couple is walking their pig around campus
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
