fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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