my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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