i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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