does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
how drunk are you?
Several
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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