hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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