Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
