actually, I'm a sock model
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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