4 words: hood of his car
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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