Kiss
Puke
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
