he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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