Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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