3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
