what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
