i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
