just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
