Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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