don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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