He kissed a someone with a penis
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My feet surprised me
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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