but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
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