Dude my mom stole all your condoms
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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