my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
