There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
