So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
