I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize