That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
