I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
