Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
