if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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