is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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