he shaved USA in his pubs
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.