Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  Fine. I'll sleep in my office

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  (917): Fine. I'll sleep in my office http://tfl.nu/uxdr
  Replies (5) Good night (784) Bad night (1209)
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  (718): View more from New York

  I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn

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  (718): I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn http://tfl.nu/ymp4
  Replies (19) Good night (850) Bad night (2380)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"

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  (757): I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!" http://tfl.nu/94sw
  Replies (84) Good night (13438) Bad night (1798)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.

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  (847): Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called. http://tfl.nu/lgas
  Replies (21) Good night (3318) Bad night (905)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  ok you need to stop NOW

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  (479): okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters (501): ok you need to stop NOW http://tfl.nu/gm1r
  Replies (46) Good night (1455) Bad night (4351)
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  (631): View more from New York

  You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone

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  (631): You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone http://tfl.nu/0bcu
  Replies (4) Good night (4440) Bad night (1001)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..

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  (724): I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star.. http://tfl.nu/hv80
  Replies (9) Good night (2234) Bad night (737)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette

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  (215): fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette http://tfl.nu/iod4
  Replies (6) Good night (1240) Bad night (530)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.

  (1-305): View more from Florida

  God Bless cinco de mayo

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  (305): Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila. (1-305): God Bless cinco de mayo http://tfl.nu/78zu
  Replies (2) Good night (1253) Bad night (499)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio

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  (651): Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio http://tfl.nu/cnyx
  Replies (6) Good night (1033) Bad night (639)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?

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  (954): I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it? http://tfl.nu/xt0t
  Replies (1) Good night (852) Bad night (505)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.

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  (907): I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused. http://tfl.nu/yzqj
  Replies (6) Good night (451) Bad night (572)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants

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  (615): I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants http://tfl.nu/v0dv
  Replies (0) Good night (675) Bad night (282)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?

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  (301): there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night? http://tfl.nu/hxw0
  Replies (1) Good night (749) Bad night (423)
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  (209): View more from California

  Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?

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  (209): Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist? http://tfl.nu/g9wp
  Replies (3) Good night (693) Bad night (271)

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