I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing