I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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