This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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