My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
