HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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