Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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