Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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