I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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